The Bears won. And its looking really good Albert Ma is going to lose. I think I’m going to like 2012.

Of course, as I look forward to a great 2012, I also reflect on 2011 and wonder what I can do differently to make 2012 better. That’s where these silly resolutions start to come into play.

A Fresh Start

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. ~Oscar Wilde

Its always exciting at the chance to start fresh! I’m guessing that’s how a million dollars feels… but I have no first hand knowledge of that, so emphasis on the guessing part.

A new year means new beginnings. A chance to start being the people we want to be but who we clearly and empirically are not. I love this. Its like our collective better selves get together once a year and cheer, “hey, we can do this!”.

Its also sort of like Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny having a love child… or love animal. Or whatever would be the out come of such an affair and naming it New Year’s Resolution.

The Elephant in the Room.

I don’t have a problem with new year’s resolutions really. I think I may have actually met someone once who actually followed through with (part of) their resolution for (possibly as long as) a week.

But that’s the thing, right? These damn things just don’t work.

Personally I stopped making them a few years back anyway. Not only do they not work, they also have the added benefit of making me look like a bigger liar and flake than I already am! Perfect. No wonder these things are so popular!

And when we get right down to it, if I was going to start going to the gym, I’d already be going. Same with that foreign language thing or the get organized thing or the whatever thing.

So What’s a Guy to Do?

Trimming up the Plant that Grows the Magical Fruit

But its a new year! A new start! Not making any resolutions is totally unsatisfying. And its akin to sending out a family update to all your friends proclaiming, “2011, our last great year!”. Unless, of course, I actually do have a million dollars forgotten away somewhere. Then…

I made an interesting observation today as I was out trimming my small vineyard. (And for those who haven’t seen it, I live in town, its SMALL). As a pretend vintner I’m a lot more concerned with the health and well being of my great producing vines than I am in the craptastic vines.

Those great vines… well, they are great. Really great. And I know they can be even better. They’ve shown their potential. And I’d rather spend my limited time and resources on making them the best than trying to make something bad, just okay or average.

I’m shooting for blow your mind good. Not just better. Or good enough for government work.

Funny how that’s the exact opposite of my resolutions normally. But not this year.

2012 = Focusing on my Strengths

(And ignoring my weaknesses.)

That’s my New Year’s Resolution.

I’m focusing on the things that make me great. Not the things that make me… well, less regrettable. In 2012, I’m bringing awesome back.

So its come to this. The final weekend of the regular season. Of course, that can only  mean its championship weekend for many fantasy football leagues.

Of course, this isn’t the first time I’ve written about fantasy football here. Or about Albert Ma.

A little History on Albert Ma.

Albert Ma cheated adoring mom, loving wife, and (relative) fantasy football newbie Karen Wilson in a midnight hour trade–the details of which are no longer important–the effects of which are still felt all over Boise. In summary, Albert Ma = Sucktard.

Earlier in the season, many of us thought Justice might cooly bludgeon Albert’s fantasy hopes to death when Karen (the victim of Albert’s cruel and calculating schemes) handed him a week 3 BEATDOWN, 139 – 73. Karma even took a stab at Albert’s fantasy football wet dream with steely effect with a devastating week 7 loss, 136 – 60 to yours truly.

Albert Ma had set his course: sucktard island. Sailing alone, with a one-way ticket.

Of course… Albert (thinks he) is a lady’s man.

Albert Ma's mother had to pay these women to pose for one photo... after many drinks.

So Albert spent countless hours on fantasy football. What I hoped was his sisyphean task. A cruel commissioner being dealt his consequence for cheating at the hands of Justice and Karma.

He ended the season with twice as many moves as anyone else in the league. Making perfect sense to those who know him, as he has half the life of anyone else in the league.

But of course, I wouldn’t be writing this post if something hadn’t gone horribly, horribly wrong. Some how Albert duped them into believing he should have a season (not the first women he’s duped… obviously). He strung together 6 straight desperate wins to end the regular season going on to easily barely making the playoffs.

Enter our Heroine

Unlike Albert, Stacey has many people who enjoy her company.

Like the rest of us, Stacey had no idea what kind of league Albert Ma had setup (one of pain and deception) when she joined. But unlike the 14 others in the league (including Karen and myself), Stacey has one last opportunity to deal Albert Ma (sucktard) a final and devastating loss in the championship game!

Stacey = Justice and Karma now beotch!

Fatefully, today is the last day of 2011. Meaning tomorrow’s championship game will be decided on the first day of 2012. This isn’t coincidence my friends. This is fate!

If you care at all about 2012 being a great year, you’ll support Stacey in her attempt to vanquish Tyrant Albert Ma (who also goes by the name Kim Jong-Chill)!!

Shivakamini Somakandarkram!!!!

Friends, rise up against this oppressor! Call upon Stacey or Justice or Karma or Virtue or even Shiva herself to defeat this tyrant once and for all!!

The time is now!! THE TIME IS NOW!!!!

And as a Bears fan, there are teams I “hate”. The Green Bay Packers come to mind. But this is the sort of hate you have for your brother who picks on you every day after school. You hate his dumb ass; but he’s your brother… so you can’t really imagine life without him. Besides, you’re just going to get even the next time you get a chance anyway.

But then there are the other teams who aren’t in the family (AFC teams, non-NFC North teams). I hate them like I hate malaria in Africa. I know I should hate them, but I don’t really think about them all that often. Nor do I really care what they do unless we are playing them that week.

Enter the anti-christ

But every once in a while there’s special exception to this structure. Enter the Dallas Cowboys. Like everyone else in the NFL I didn’t like the Cowboys much when they were winning all those super bowls in the 90s. But in the last 3 weeks I’ve grown to hate this team with a new passion.

As you may know, the Bears are on an epic 3 game losing streak against the pathetic AFC West. Its horrible.

But its the role 3 former Cowboys have played that has soured me forever on this team.

Cowboy Curse?

If you google “Cowboy Curse” there are over 4 million returned results!!

At the beginning of the season I was excited the Bears picked up 3 Cowboys who had been cut. Wide receiver Roy Williams, running back Marion Barber and special teams ace (WR) Sam Hurd.

Roy Williams, when he played for Martz in Detroit was the league’s best receiver. We needed a good receiver. Now, granted, when Roy went “home” to the Cowboys he looked horrible. But I was still excited.

Marion Barber is known as the “Barbarian”. He’s a beast by any man’s measure. He’d make the perfect compliment to our stud, Matt Forte I thought.

And Sam Hurd was brought in to replace Rashied Davis who was a great special teamer and overall great guy. We needed a new special team ace and Hurd fit the bill.

Then it all went wrong.

After beating the San Diego Chargers and losing our starting QB Jay Cutler most Bears fans were still feeling optimistic. We were playing 3 more games against the Raiders, Chiefs and Broncos.

The Raiders lost was tough. A game that could have been won if we hadn’t turned the ball over 3 times in the first half. Our defense was just epic.

The Chiefs lost, though, was devastating. Not only did we lose our best offensive weapon, Matt Forte. We had several opportunities to win the game. Including two opportunities involving Barber (who didn’t line up on the line of scrimmage and thus had a TD called back) and Williams (who let a ball pass through both hands in the end zone). It was rough.

The Broncos lost capped off this 3 week nightmare. Again Marion Barber cost us the game and Roy Williams didn’t live up to expectations. And we got Tebowed. Ugh!

And then there was Sam Hurd.

Yesterday Sam Hurd was arrested for felony drug charges. He didn’t buy a bunch of blow for a big party either. He wanted to be a player and sell. What an ass. And, again, a Cowboy.

This is the curse of the Cowboys coming down hard on the Chicago Bears my friends.

How about them Cowboys? Screw ‘em!

No polls to discuss.

No one left standing to cry.

Imagine all the fans happy cheering today.

Playoffs? PLAYOFFS?!

One of my first posts on this blog was about the BCS.

See, I went to a school where we found out who had the best football team on the field. The University of Montana Grizzlies play in the NCAA Football Championship Subdivision as opposed to that vile fiend your team likely plays in know as the NCAA Football Bowl Subdivision. You know, the one that gets to play in all those bowl games.

I can understand your love for these bowl games. I mean, who doesn’t get a little amped up to watch the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl or the Little Caesars Pizza Bowl or especially the Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl?

But all I see is dirty, corrupt, inglorious money.

Don’t tell me your version of college football is about who’s best or the student athletes or (gag) tradition. Its not. Its about the money.

And not money for the schools. Or even the football programs. But money for the fat cats who run this vile wretch you (clearly must) love, the BCS.

But I’m Getting Off Topic

Imagine–if you can–imagine a playoff.

In the Football Championship Subdivision we have a 20 team playoff. It used to be a 4 team, and then an 8 team and then, just recently a 16 team playoff. And it works really simply.

The 10 conference champions all get automatic bids. It doesn’t matter if you are in a good conference or a bad one. If you beat everyone in your conference you’re in. Its that simple.

Then, there are 10 at large bids. These go to the other good teams who didn’t win their division. Not much politics, just the next best 10 teams.

Thanksgiving weekend is usually when the bottom 8 teams play each other. Then, after that we have a 4 week 16 team tournament.

Its glorious.

No really, imagine…

I’ve heard rumors there’s actually a few who want a playoff in the Football Bowl Subdivision. Some call for a 4 team, some an 8.

Yawn.

Lets imagine a 20 team playoff like the Football Championship Subdivision.

That would give us 11 automatic bids.

Atlantic Coast Conference: 15th ranked Clemson
Big East Conference: 23rd ranked West Virginia
Big Ten Conference: 10th ranked Wisconsin
Big 12 Conference: 3rd ranked Oklahoma State
Pacific 12 Conference: 5th ranked Oregon
South East Conference: 1st ranked LSU
Conference USA: 21st ranked Southern Miss
Mid-America Conference: unranked Northern Illinois
Mountain West Conference: 18th ranked TCU
Sun Belt Conference: unranked Arkansas State
Western Athletic Conference: unranked Louisiana Tech

Now, before you bemoan the fact that 5 of these 11 teams aren’t even in the top 20, shut up. You want to keep the BCS? Bottom line, you win your conference you have the right to see if you can win a national championship.

Having EVERY conference champion go also has benefit of having conferences THAT MAKE %$#&@!& SENSE! People have little reason to move conferences other than geography. What a novel idea.

Imagine… The at-large Bids

Now we have 9 at large bids to fill. And we simply take the 9 best teams available. Period.

#2 Alabama
#4 Stanford
#6 Arkansas
#7 Boise State
#8 Kansas State
#9 South Carolina
#11 Virginia Tech
#12 Baylor
#13 Michigan (which without BCS politics probably would be Oklahoma… but…)

Now, I ask you BCS lover, who in the nation has a legitimate right for a chance to play for a national title that isn’t listed above?

Who? Seriously, I’m asking. Who?

Now comes the fun part! Playoffs!

Its the playoffs. We have 5 weekends of GREAT college football. 19 total match ups. And most importantly, 1 National Champion.

Admittedly, this would be way cooler as a graphic. If you want to do that for this cause, let me know.

Nov 26th: The Thanksgiving Weekend Bottom 8

Game 1: Northern Illinois at Michigan in the big house.  Since we need a winner, we take Michigan at home.

Game 2: Arkansas State at Clemson.  Clemson wins.

Game 3: Louisiana Tech at TCU. TCU wins.

Game 4: West Virginia at Southern Miss in the weekends only ranked matchup. West Virginia wins.

Dec 2nd & 3rd: The Big BCS FU

Friday, December 2nd

Game 1: #9 South Carolina at #8 Kansas State. South Carolina wins.

Game 2: #13 Michigan at #4 Stanford. Stanford wins.

Game 3: #11 Virginia Tech at #6 Arkansas. Arkansas wins.

Game 4:  #18 TCU at #2 Alabama. Alabama wins.

Saturday, December 3rd

Game 5: #10 Wisconsin at #7 Boise State University. BSU wins.

Game 6: #15 Clemson at #3 Oklahoma State. Oklahoma State wins.

Game 7: #12 Baylor at  #5 Oregon. Oregon wins.

Game 8: #23 West Virginia at #1 LSU. LSU wins.

Just take a moment and let these two days of glory sink in. Friday would be declared a national holiday. It would be glorious.

Dec 10th: Upset weekend

Of course, one thing you should know about any playoff. Its rarely the highest ranked teams that go all the way.

Game 1: #9 South Carolina at #1 LSU. Of course, LSU is very good and wins.

Game 2: #5 Oregon at #4 Stanford. Stanford wins.

Game 3: #7 Boise State at #2 Alabama. Boise State wins.

Game 4: #6 Arkansas at #3 Oklahoma State. Oklahoma State wins.

Honestly, what game here DON’T you want to watch? Oh, you love the BCS match ups? Great, have fun.

Dec 17th: The Final Four

Game 1: #4 Stanford at #1 LSU. LSU wins.

Game 2: #7 Boise State at #3 Oklahoma State. Oklahoma State wins.

Dec 24th: Christmas Eve.

Come on people. Its Christmas Eve. How about we let these student athletes enjoy time with their families?

Dec 31st: New Years Eve National Championship Game!

Now, I might actually stay up on New Years Eve!! Lets do this thing!

#3 Oklahoma State takes on #1 LSU in Texas Stadium for the national championship. In triple overtime, just before mid-night in whatever time zone I happen to be in #3 Oklahoma State stuns #1 LSU to win the first legitimate national title in NCAA football history!!

Congratulations Cowboys! You’re national champions!

Simply put, they are the greatest professional sports franchise in America.

But we are in trouble in 2011.

First, Jay Cutler goes down with a broken thumb.

Then, this week, Matt Forte goes does down with a knee injury.

That’s our best two offensive players DONE for the season. Shit.

I’m not sure this is necessarily going to be one of those “where were you when you heard Steve Jobs died” sort of things or not. But I know I’ll always remember. I had just finished dinner, grabbed my iPhone and read this tweet.

My heart immediately sunk.

I went to Apple’s homepage to see this.

“Damn. Too soon.” That is all I could think.

My History with Apple

Apple Computer is one of those companies that has always been in my life. In 1980 I went to kindergarden in rural Montana to find one Apple II Plus in the classroom. The first time the school had ever had a computer and certainly the first time I’d ever seen one.

I only bought one non-Apple computer (a “PC”) in the 30 years since. It lasted less than a year.

But I didn’t order my Apple Fanboy card until after Steve Jobs returned to the company.

3 Lessons I’ve learned from Steve Jobs

1. Popular Opinions Don’t Mean &^%$

When Steve Jobs returned to Apple in 1997 the company launched the famous Think Different campaign.

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The rebels. The troublemakers. The ones who see things differently. While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

What a message. It was powerful and inspring; especially as someone who had just left home and was off to explore the world.

And it was vintage Jobs. The year before he was pushed from Apple his company aired the most famous ad in television, 1984.

And Jobs always believed it was his mission to tell us what we wanted. Not the other way around.

He had no time for the guru’s or experts or naysayers. He knew what was right. And #$%& you if you’re too dumb to get it.

Its rare to be able to listen to your inner voice when everyone else is telling you to go in another direction.

2. Beauty Matters

This is the wrong title; but its something like that.

Making art is important. And everything else follows it. Function. Profit. Good business sense.

I have no doubt that Steve Jobs saw himself as an artist before he saw himself as many things. Beauty mattered to Steve Jobs. Whether it be the software or the hardware, it had to be beautiful. Not just ascetically, but also functionally.

I bought my first non-Apple computer just a few months before Steve Jobs returned as CEO of the company. There was nothing special about this Compaq laptop. Nothing inspiring. After Jobs returned he released the iMac and then the PowerMac G3.

They were beautiful. And after I ordered the PowerMac G3 I stood stunned at the box alone upon arrival.

But its beauty was also in its simplicity. There was this door that opened the side of the computer where I could access everything. No screws. No screwdrivers. No scratches. Just… a door.

Anyone can pick up an Apple device and it just works. That’s beautiful.

3. Follow Your Dreams

As far as I know, Steve Jobs has only once just talked about life publicly. In 2005 at Stanford University Jobs gave the commencement address. The year before he had been diagnosed with the cancer that I’m assuming lead to his death today.

His message was simple. Life is too damn short to live someone else’s life. Follow your path. Follow your dreams.

Its so cliché.

But here was a man who did exactly that and changed the world. How could you not listen?

I’m still trying to listen.

Steve… ugh! You will be missed.

I’ve been a bit self reflective recently, I admit. I’m not sure what the deal is, hopefully not cancer of the brain or something.

Whatever is going on I ended up watching this video 4 times today. Its making the rounds on the interwebs. The video is of Sloan Churman, a 29 year old woman who is recorded as she hears ANYTHING for the very first time. Its truly an inspiring experience to watch.

The First Time is Special

Its a gift to be able to see things with fresh eyes and with a new perspective. Too often we get distracted by what we already know to look for what we don’t. Its hard, I admit (again).

But that’s one of the things that make sunsets so special. You can see a new one everyday even though its the same event. Same set of characters. Same circumstances. But its always an outcome that has some unique qualities to it.

I need more of that in my life.

The First Time Matters

I’ve come to a point in my life where my “firsts” come farther and farther apart from each other. The result is I’ve begin to lose that wonder that we experience when we do those things for the very first time. Life even becomes a bit drab. Or at least it can. And that everyday wonder I should have is robbed from me.

Its those firsts that remind me–us–that life matters. And that life is full of surprises. And I should look for those everyday; not just some days or one day soon.

Of course there is something to be said for seconds and thirds too. A lot to be said actually; but its the magic and wonder of the first time that makes it special even if it doesn’t make it practical.

Worth 5 Minutes? Yep.

One of my less endearing qualities (although I admit I have many) is impatience. Its never done fast enough. I’m never there soon enough. And I’m always getting ticked off about it.

I’m Getting Impatient

But the truth is, its usually done fast enough. I’m always there soon enough. And I’m getting mad for no good reason.

So I’m done. I’m getting impatient with my impatience. And I have an action step. Or at least a first step.

I’m taking 5 minutes. 

Its Always Worth It

Is there anything that isn’t worth taking 5 minutes for? I’m sure there is. Of course there is. Right?

But I don’t care. I’m going to take 5 minutes.

My neighbor wants to talk (again)? I’m going to take 5 minutes instead of blowing him off.

My friend wants to tell me one more story (again)? I’m going to take 5 minutes to listen.

I see a beautiful sunset? I’m taking 5 minutes to pull over and take that picture.

I’m Going to Take 5 Minutes

So effective immediately, I’ll be Taking 5 Minutes.

5 Minutes to pull over and take that picture.

5 Minutes to go look at the monkey’s in the trees (that don’t exist) down by the river with my 3 year old.

5 Minutes to sit down and give my wife my undivided attention when she asks for it.

5 Minutes to stop what I’m doing to do that thing that’s not as urgent, but probably more important.

No doubt this idea probably won’t change my life. But hopefully it’ll make it just a little better.

Is it hard for you to take 5 minutes out of your day to do the small things?

I’m talking about short selling stocks. And nope, I’m not an expert; but this is my blog and I’ll talk about it if I want to.

Economics and Finance 101

We’re all familiar with short selling’s better known sibling: “going long”. That’s to say, an investor buys a stock in Company A and hopes that, for a variety of reasons, that stock goes up thereby making a profit after selling the stock at the higher price.

In fact, the majority of all trading is done in this manner. And one of the reasons its called going long is because investors tend to hold on to their investments over long periods of time thus mitigating much of the risk of the stock going down and losing money on the investment.

Frankly its pretty boring stuff.

Come on! Get to it!

So what does it mean to short sell a stock? The idea is really simple actually.

Lets say you are a young entrepreneur down at the farmers market sipping your cup of coffe. Across the street is an apple stand in the market. They are selling your favoriate variety of apple (the Fuji apple: crazy delicious) for $1/ apple. However, you’re pretty confident these apple’s are being sold at a premium currently and chances are the vendor will be selling them for $0.50/ apple by the end of the day. (Don’t ask questions! Just go with it.)

So what do you do?

Well, you certianly don’t go buy the apples, right? In other words, you’re not going to go long.

What you ARE going to do though is ask the vendor to borrow 10 apples. Since the vendor is drunk a great guy he gladly LOANS you the 10 Apples and you promise to deliver them back near the end of the day.

So, Short Selling is like borrowing Apples?

Sort of. But you are borrowing stocks from a brokerage of a company. Got it?

Great, so you head to the other end of the Farmers Market and quickly sell those apples for $1 / apple for a total of $10.

AWESOME! You’ve got $10! But you don’t have the apple’s you’ve just borrowed. And that’s a problem because that apple vendor wants his apple’s back at the end of the day.

So instead of panicking and trying to make it to Mexico with your $10 you go back and finish your coffee. And you wait. What are you waiting for? The price of apple’s to come down.

Risky Business

And that’s the rub. You’ve sold a borrowed asset (10 apples in this case) and at some point you have to BUY BACK 10 APPLES to deliver back to the drunk really nice apple vendor.

If the price of apples goes up to $1.50/ apple when you buy them back then you’ve just lost $5. If the price of the apples goes down to $0.50/ apple then you’ve just pocketed $5. Obviously the hope is you’ll make money and not lose money.

See, its so simple when explained so eloquently!

I ❤ apples.

So now we know why people short sell. They want to make money. But like with any analogy it doesn’t tell the whole story. The Securities and Exchange Commission actually banned short selling of certain stocks in 2008. And I’m pretty sure I’ve heard they’ve taken similar steps more recently too.

Why?

Because short selling is also an important way for a market to test the health of a given company (and sometimes industry). You are publically saying, “I think company A is not a sound investment; in fact, I’m willing to bet money on it.”. That’s a powerful market signal.

The fear is, in a volatile market, selling short stocks may just be a self-fulfilling proclamation. If Entity X is short selling Company B everyone starts to think, “they must know something I don’t; I’m out”. Which can be devastating if say your main business was loaning money to home buyers in 2006.

Haha!

My Take

And that’s why I’d argue we don’t need less short selling in the future, but more. If we’d had more investors willing to short sell Bank of America, Citigroup and our other large financial institutions in the early to mid-2000s maybe we wouldn’t have had the bubble we did. And if that bubble never happened, then I wouldn’t have to deal with that other kind of short sale I talk about at the beginning of this post!

Planet Money is a blog and podcast done by NPR that every educated American should be reading and listening to. Go subscribe today.

Also, Albert Ma is trying to destroy me. Give me Klout today in something other than “moms”. K. Thx. Bye.