Albert Ma? Or Kim Jong-il?

A Campaign to Unfollow Albert Ma (@albear)

09.02.11 Posted in Fun, Rants by

Just so there isn’t any confusion: I consider Albert Ma a friend and a great guy. The following is more a result of my procrastination on this fine Friday than anything else.

Note: If you don’t currently follow Albert Ma on Twitter please do so now so you can unfollow him at the end of this post.

Albert Ma of Boise, ID

Albert Ma = Kim Jong-il?

By most accounts Albert Ma is a nice guy. By some accounts Albert Ma is the Kim Jong-il of Boise, ID. I’m now convinced he is that later.

Here’s the story.

The Villian

Albert Ma believes in living the lifestyles of the rich and shameless. Admirable (or ridiculous, I can’t remember which). He is also a big fantasy football fan.

The result of these two passions is the Yahoo! Fantasy Football League, #lotrasFFL, where Kim, er… Albert is Dictator, er… Commissioner.

Enter our Protagonist

One of the people Albert invited into his league of pain and deception is Karen Rush-Wilson, aka Team Krush, aka @KarenRushWilson. Adoring mom. Loving wife. Autism Advocate (which her young son has). Someone trying to make her life simpler; because lets face it, life can be a mess at times.

The truth is Karen isn’t a Fantasy Football virgin. She played in her first league EVER last year. She placed 12th out of 18. Not bad. More importantly she tried. And she wanted to learn and get better. And she did.

But Karen is still a fantasy football newbie. And she engaged in exactly zero trades last season. I know, I was commissioner of that league.

So when The Racist Dragon, aka The #lotrasFFL Commissioner, aka Kim Jong-il of Boise, ID, aka Albert Ma requested a trade it was probably with some excitement Karen viewed it, as it was her first time.

The Rub

Its still unclear how the trade was accepted and approved by the league. But it was.

Albert, knowing he had chosen the least experienced player in his league, offered a trade with Karen in what has been described as a “rip-off deal”, “recockulous”, “hogwash”, “shameful”, and the “dirtiest crap I’ve ever seen”.

The trade? Wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald for tight end Dallas Clark.

Albert–immediately being called out–defended his actions only by saying, “it was worth a try”. And then after the trade went through (did I mention he was commissioner?) he gleefully proclaimed, “Laughing all the way to the #lotrasFFL championship.“. And further justified his actions by claiming he was actually the one taking the risk in the trade because Arizona quarterback Kevin Kolb was probably going to be a flop this year.

Can this Oppressor be Stopped?

Many have asked Albert to do the right thing. He has thus far declined. Karen has even thrown herself at Albert’s mercy receiving something like the kind of reception Kim Jong-il’s personal stylists get when they suggest he start shopping at the Gap.

Shame won’t work. If you remember, Albert takes some pride in the fact he is shameless.

What Albert does hold dear though, is his Klout Score. God only knows why; certainly no one else does.

Stop the Oppressor, Bring Justice

To bring Albert’s Klout score down, and bring him inline with the wishes of the #lotrasFFL–to say nothing of common decency–we must do 3 things friends:

  1. Unfollow Albert Ma on Twitter (only for a week).
  2. Stop engaging with Albert Ma and his content on the internet (again, for a week).
  3. Encourage others to follow your lead in toppling this fantasy football tyrant.

Justice’s Goal

If we can bring Albert’s Klout Score down by any amount probably by 10 points (from 65 to 55) in the next week, he will no doubt capitulate to Common Decency and return Karen’s best player for… admittedly, his best player.

If we can’t break Albert by destroying his Klout score, then Karen do I have a trade for you.

Stay tuned…

11 Responses to “A Campaign to Unfollow Albert Ma (@albear)”

  1. Albert Ma says:

    This owns.

  2. Seth Neal says:

    I’m just hoping your Klout score gets owned! 😉

    Also, for the record, I’ll be refollowing @albear right before kickoff off the NFL season, Sept 8.

  3. Dylan says:


    a haiku of laughter.

  4. Seth Neal says:

    But did you unfollow?

  5. Are you sure this isn’t Kim Jong Ill? Can anyone say photoshop? I mean, I know those hills can’t be Korea, but still…

    • Seth Neal says:

      Haha! I know, right?! I was looking at photos on FB of Albert and I saw this one and I immediately made me thing of Kim Jong-il.

      I heard they were related actually.

  6. […] am Albert Ma. And I am a […]

  7. megsmallan says:

    again….why am i JUST seeing this funny stuff that makes fun of Albie?! gosh, Seth…pick up the tweets on this funny stuff.

    p.s. i TOTALLY would’ve participated, but DON’T tell Albert.

    • Seth Neal says:

      Oh Megs… why indeed?

      Sorry, next time I’ll be sure to illicit your support. Actually, I think I remember thinking, Megan HATES football. I’ll skip asking her. 😉

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