So its come to this. The final weekend of the regular season. Of course, that can only  mean its championship weekend for many fantasy football leagues.

Of course, this isn’t the first time I’ve written about fantasy football here. Or about Albert Ma.

A little History on Albert Ma.

Albert Ma cheated adoring mom, loving wife, and (relative) fantasy football newbie Karen Wilson in a midnight hour trade–the details of which are no longer important–the effects of which are still felt all over Boise. In summary, Albert Ma = Sucktard.

Earlier in the season, many of us thought Justice might cooly bludgeon Albert’s fantasy hopes to death when Karen (the victim of Albert’s cruel and calculating schemes) handed him a week 3 BEATDOWN, 139 – 73. Karma even took a stab at Albert’s fantasy football wet dream with steely effect with a devastating week 7 loss, 136 – 60 to yours truly.

Albert Ma had set his course: sucktard island. Sailing alone, with a one-way ticket.

Of course… Albert (thinks he) is a lady’s man.

Albert Ma's mother had to pay these women to pose for one photo... after many drinks.

So Albert spent countless hours on fantasy football. What I hoped was his sisyphean task. A cruel commissioner being dealt his consequence for cheating at the hands of Justice and Karma.

He ended the season with twice as many moves as anyone else in the league. Making perfect sense to those who know him, as he has half the life of anyone else in the league.

But of course, I wouldn’t be writing this post if something hadn’t gone horribly, horribly wrong. Some how Albert duped them into believing he should have a season (not the first women he’s duped… obviously). He strung together 6 straight desperate wins to end the regular season going on to easily barely making the playoffs.

Enter our Heroine

Unlike Albert, Stacey has many people who enjoy her company.

Like the rest of us, Stacey had no idea what kind of league Albert Ma had setup (one of pain and deception) when she joined. But unlike the 14 others in the league (including Karen and myself), Stacey has one last opportunity to deal Albert Ma (sucktard) a final and devastating loss in the championship game!

Stacey = Justice and Karma now beotch!

Fatefully, today is the last day of 2011. Meaning tomorrow’s championship game will be decided on the first day of 2012. This isn’t coincidence my friends. This is fate!

If you care at all about 2012 being a great year, you’ll support Stacey in her attempt to vanquish Tyrant Albert Ma (who also goes by the name Kim Jong-Chill)!!

Shivakamini Somakandarkram!!!!

Friends, rise up against this oppressor! Call upon Stacey or Justice or Karma or Virtue or even Shiva herself to defeat this tyrant once and for all!!

The time is now!! THE TIME IS NOW!!!!

The New Oxford American Dictionary defines a tyrant as such:

tyrant |ˈtīrənt|
noun
• a cruel and oppressive ruler
• a person exercising power or control in a cruel, unreasonable, or arbitrary way

Kim Jong-il, Albert Ma, Muammar Gaddafi

If you remember, sometime last week I made the case to unfollow Albert Ma. It was a (futile) retaliatory gesture wielded against an unjust, cruel tyrant. Otherwise known as the Fantasy Football Commisionor of the #lotrasFFL.

Well…

Albert Ma Won

The plan was simple. Hit this guy where it would hurt. His Klout score. Get people to unfollow him on Twitter and stop interacting with him. In short, I failed. Not only did the plan not work, Albert actually gained followers on twitter! I know because they tweeted me about it! And to add some insult to this injury, Karen (the poor girl who got taken by Albert) didn’t even unfollow herself.

There are really no words to describe this sort of brutal beatdown by this oppressor. However, I will say I’m more than one beer in as I type these words and reflect on the experience.

Fallen Heros

However, there were a few who unfollowed. A few who fought to see justice brought down on this tyrant. Matthew H Smith, who has more important things to do than get caught up in Fantasy Football shenanigans, unfollowed Albert. Don L Day, I have no idea what prompted him to unfollow, but his sacrifice was much appreciated. Dylan Howell, his next beer is on me… he had his Girl’s business account unfollow as well! Dave Yasuda is just a solid guy; I appreciate the unfollow man. Kevin Wilson (husband of Karen) may have just served me another beer. For that and the unfollow I am grateful. And finally, Jeran Dahlquist, my Bears compatriot who followed me down this foolish path: I’ll always be grateful.

Yep, that list is that short.

What was Learned?

1st, Albert is way too popular for his own good! Haha!

2nd, unfollowing people feels too personal. I had more than one comment that they wanted to shame Albert, but an unfollow was going to far. I find this true myself. Anytime someone unfollows me who I’ve made a connection with it feel personal. Probably too personal.

3rd, apathy is easier than action. Action takes risk. Action takes movement. Action takes sacrifice. Apathy asks for none of those things. Its the easier choice.

So, What’s Next?

Albert has won this round, but he won’t win week 7 in the #lotrasFFL. Stay tuned. Albert will get his! Trust me, you’ll know all about it.

Note: If you don’t currently follow Albert Ma on Twitter please do so now so you can unfollow him at the end of this post.

Albert Ma = Kim Jong-il?

By most accounts Albert Ma is a nice guy. By some accounts Albert Ma is the Kim Jong-il of Boise, ID. I’m now convinced he is that later.

Here’s the story.

The Villian

Albert Ma believes in living the lifestyles of the rich and shameless. Admirable (or ridiculous, I can’t remember which). He is also a big fantasy football fan.

The result of these two passions is the Yahoo! Fantasy Football League, #lotrasFFL, where Kim, er… Albert is Dictator, er… Commissioner.

Enter our Protagonist

One of the people Albert invited into his league of pain and deception is Karen Rush-Wilson, aka Team Krush, aka @KarenRushWilson. Adoring mom. Loving wife. Autism Advocate (which her young son has). Someone trying to make her life simpler; because lets face it, life can be a mess at times.

The truth is Karen isn’t a Fantasy Football virgin. She played in her first league EVER last year. She placed 12th out of 18. Not bad. More importantly she tried. And she wanted to learn and get better. And she did.

But Karen is still a fantasy football newbie. And she engaged in exactly zero trades last season. I know, I was commissioner of that league.

So when The Racist Dragon, aka The #lotrasFFL Commissioner, aka Kim Jong-il of Boise, ID, aka Albert Ma requested a trade it was probably with some excitement Karen viewed it, as it was her first time.

The Rub

Its still unclear how the trade was accepted and approved by the league. But it was.

Albert, knowing he had chosen the least experienced player in his league, offered a trade with Karen in what has been described as a “rip-off deal”, “recockulous”, “hogwash”, “shameful”, and the “dirtiest crap I’ve ever seen”.

The trade? Wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald for tight end Dallas Clark.

Albert–immediately being called out–defended his actions only by saying, “it was worth a try”. And then after the trade went through (did I mention he was commissioner?) he gleefully proclaimed, “Laughing all the way to the #lotrasFFL championship.“. And further justified his actions by claiming he was actually the one taking the risk in the trade because Arizona quarterback Kevin Kolb was probably going to be a flop this year.

Can this Oppressor be Stopped?

Many have asked Albert to do the right thing. He has thus far declined. Karen has even thrown herself at Albert’s mercy receiving something like the kind of reception Kim Jong-il’s personal stylists get when they suggest he start shopping at the Gap.

Shame won’t work. If you remember, Albert takes some pride in the fact he is shameless.

What Albert does hold dear though, is his Klout Score. God only knows why; certainly no one else does.

Stop the Oppressor, Bring Justice

To bring Albert’s Klout score down, and bring him inline with the wishes of the #lotrasFFL–to say nothing of common decency–we must do 3 things friends:

1. Unfollow Albert Ma on Twitter (only for a week).
2. Stop engaging with Albert Ma and his content on the internet (again, for a week).
3. Encourage others to follow your lead in toppling this fantasy football tyrant.

Justice’s Goal

If we can bring Albert’s Klout Score down by any amount probably by 10 points (from 65 to 55) in the next week, he will no doubt capitulate to Common Decency and return Karen’s best player for… admittedly, his best player.

If we can’t break Albert by destroying his Klout score, then Karen do I have a trade for you.

Stay tuned…

Lets not forget that Papa Bear saved the Packers Franchise.

I’m so excited! Sunday January 23rd, 2011 The Chicago Bears will be facing The Green Bay Packers in what is only their second playoff meeting EVER! I SAID EVER PEOPLE!! Keep in mind, this is the oldest rivalry in the National Football League! And probably the best rivalry in all of professional sports. And they have only met one other time in the playoffs. Amazing. And for the record, the Bears won that 1941 meeting 33 to 14 as they went on to win the NFL Championship!

Anyway, all this excitement got me thinking about the 5 greatest Bears vs Packers games in history. Share your greatest games in the comments if you think I don’t know what I’m talking about; here are mine… 

1. December 7, 1980 Defensive coordinator Buddy Ryan, beginning to form what would later be called the 46 Defense, relentlessly blitzed a hapless Packers Offense in route to a shearing victory. Bart Starr, the Packers Quarterback, was so upset after the game he went after Buddy. I’m guessing it took all the forces of nature to keep Buddy from killing Bart Starr then and there. Bears 33 – Packers 7
2. October 21, 1985 Da Coach (aka Mike Ditka) unleashed William “The Refrigerator” Perry on the Packers in a Monday Night Football game. No. 72 lined up as a 350 pound Fullback, blowing holes wide open for Sweetness (aka Walter Payton), who ended the night with 112 yards rushing and 2 TDs. But Da Coach wasn’t done with The Fridge and called his number and he ended the game with 1 yard rushing and 1 TD. The Packers were in shock and awe. Bears 23 – Packers 7
3. November 23, 1986 After Da Bears Superbowl season the Packers knew they had to do something in order to slow down the greatest team in NFL history. But no one would have guessed they would go to such lows. The Packers ended Jim McMahon’s season with a flagrant, long-after-the-whistle, body slam by Charles Martin (defensive lineman). Of course, the Bears still won. Bears 12 – Packers 10
4. September 10, 2006 In 16 seasons Packer’s QB Brett Farve had never been shutout. Da Bears could not abide and figured it was about time to change that silly statistic. So Brian Urlacher and the Chicago Defense shut Farve out on their way to the Superbowl. Oh yea, and Devin Hester had 112 return yards and a TD. Bears 26 – Packers 0
5. January 23, 2011 Da Bears hosted the Packers at Soldier Field for the NFC Championship title and a shot at the Superbowl. The pundits, Packer lovers each one, all predicted a Green Bay win. Even the ods makers in Vegas gave the edge to Green Bay. But in the end Jay Cutler led Chicago to a rousing victory over Green Bay. Bears 52 – Packers 7

I over reacted. But you watched the pre-season too, didn’t you? We looked HORRIBLE. Completely hapless. I think I had every right to freak out. And after all the expectations of last year burning up like a super nova before our eyes I wasn’t going to make the same mistake going into the season. Sure, I may have swung a little to far into the Deeply Depressed Camp; but I’m here to announce that I believe we have a really good football team on our hands.

Not everyone thinks so yet. But after tonight they will. The Green Bay Packers were picked by many to win the NFC. And for good reason. They are a tough football team. The focus is usually on Aaron Rogers, and for good reason – he’s good. But they also have a tough defense and pretty competitive Special Teams units. But they aren’t without their flaws. Like the Bears, their Offensive Line could be much better. The O-line is so critical to the success of any team, but especially for teams like the Bears and Packers who want to throw the ball. But the biggest problem the Packers have is the lack of any sort of run game. Right. Its 2010 and nobody in the NFL runs the ball anymore. Well, I’m here to tell you its still important, especially in close games.

So, tonight is Bears vs Packers. The Bears are going to win this game easily if they can convert 40% or better on 3rd down and win the turnover battle. They will still be in the game even if they can’t. Its going to be a good one.

Bears 24 – Packers 17

But there was an exciting part for me! And since this is my site, I get to write about that here! The guy who was behind this theme made the claim in an interview that “he was one of the 3 most important people in WordPress”. Now, he has a lot of users of his theme, but the claim is was crazy outrageous. The guy has a serious case of narcissism (as it turns out, my kind of guy!). So the founder of WordPress, Matt Mullenweg, decided to give away some t-shirts and certificates to anyone who ask. I asked… and now I’m One of the three most important people in WordPress too!

…

And then I found $5.

Apparently the Bears are going to make some moves today. I can’t even believe it. But I’m not going to get all excited like I did last off season. My friends and family deserve better. Stay tuned…

UPDATE 7:50am: OK, so I’m a little behind this morning. We’ve already made our first signing! I know nothing about Brandon Manumaleuna or why we think we need him. Although it does seem like this guy is a Mike Martz guy. Martz doesn’t really know what to do with catching TEs which is unfortunate since we have 2 pretty good ones in Greg Olsen and Desmond Clark. Hopefully they remain apart of the Bears future.

UPDATE 12.33pm: Awesome. We just made our second signing. Chester Taylor is a stud and we definitely need a second back. Having both Forte and Taylor as options in the back field couldn’t get any better for a Martz style offense. Both can catch the ball as well as they can run it. Now if only we had an offensive line!

UPDATE 1.08pm: Alex Brown just tweeted “Great day for the bears! Watch out offenses the bears defense will be tough!” which leads me to believe we actually did sign Julius Peppers. Unbelievable. That guy is a monster on the field and with Rod Marinelli as defensive coordinator it could spell big things. Look out, da bears are back!

UPDATE 2.55pm: ESPN is saying Julius Peppers is a Chicago Bear. Crazy.

But there is something God given about fear.  Not the kind we usually practice, or the spiritual kind that you may think I’m referring too… but the primal kind.   I came across this picture this week and just can’t stop staring at it… its a picture of fear and trembling and somehow its making me a little more whole.

Well, anyway, the bad news is Jill is not that interested in me getting one.  But I’ve still been looking into the “world of wii” and its pretty funny the stuff out there on this console. One blog I’ve been looking at has some dude’s experiment to get in shape by playing the Wii.  You may think that’s funny if you’ve never played the Wii… but if you’ve played then you know he’s dead serious.

Anyway, go check out this dude’s update here: http://wiinintendo.net/2007/01/15/wii-sports-experiment-results/ its great stuff.