Shivakamini Somakandarkram!!!!

Dear Shiva, that Sucktard Albert Ma Doesn’t Deserve You!

12.31.11 Posted in Fun by

Note: If the Title of this Post means nothing to you, cue up Netflix and catch up on Season’s 1 and 2 of The League. Please also note this post is categorized under “fun”. 

So its come to this. The final weekend of the regular season. Of course, that can only  mean its championship weekend for many fantasy football leagues.

Of course, this isn’t the first time I’ve written about fantasy football here. Or about Albert Ma.

A little History on Albert Ma.

Albert Ma cheated adoring mom, loving wife, and (relative) fantasy football newbie Karen Wilson in a midnight hour trade–the details of which are no longer important–the effects of which are still felt all over Boise. In summary, Albert Ma = Sucktard.

Earlier in the season, many of us thought Justice might cooly bludgeon Albert’s fantasy hopes to death when Karen (the victim of Albert’s cruel and calculating schemes) handed him a week 3 BEATDOWN, 139 – 73. Karma even took a stab at Albert’s fantasy football wet dream with steely effect with a devastating week 7 loss, 136 – 60 to yours truly.

Albert Ma had set his course: sucktard island. Sailing alone, with a one-way ticket.

Of course… Albert (thinks he) is a lady’s man.

Albert Ma of Boise, ID

Albert Ma's mother had to pay these women to pose for one photo... after many drinks.

So Albert spent countless hours on fantasy football. What I hoped was his sisyphean task. A cruel commissioner being dealt his consequence for cheating at the hands of Justice and Karma.

He ended the season with twice as many moves as anyone else in the league. Making perfect sense to those who know him, as he has half the life of anyone else in the league.

But of course, I wouldn’t be writing this post if something hadn’t gone horribly, horribly wrong. Some how Albert duped them into believing he should have a season (not the first women he’s duped… obviously). He strung together 6 straight desperate wins to end the regular season going on to easily barely making the playoffs.

Enter our Heroine


Unlike Albert, Stacey has many people who enjoy her company.

Like the rest of us, Stacey had no idea what kind of league Albert Ma had setup (one of pain and deception) when she joined. But unlike the 14 others in the league (including Karen and myself), Stacey has one last opportunity to deal Albert Ma (sucktard) a final and devastating loss in the championship game!

Stacey = Justice and Karma now beotch!

Fatefully, today is the last day of 2011. Meaning tomorrow’s championship game will be decided on the first day of 2012. This isn’t coincidence my friends. This is fate!

If you care at all about 2012 being a great year, you’ll support Stacey in her attempt to vanquish Tyrant Albert Ma (who also goes by the name Kim Jong-Chill)!!

Shivakamini Somakandarkram!!!!

Friends, rise up against this oppressor! Call upon Stacey or Justice or Karma or Virtue or even Shiva herself to defeat this tyrant once and for all!!

The time is now!! THE TIME IS NOW!!!!

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